


Kissing Burns 6.4 Calories Per Minute

by ErikaWilliams



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Assassin's Festival DLC, Fluff, M/M, Miscommunication, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Shut Up Kiss, Writing Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 14:18:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14082783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErikaWilliams/pseuds/ErikaWilliams
Summary: “Not the food,” he said, although he wasn’t sure what it even tasted like.  The one bite he had gotten to his mouth had quickly turned to ash.  “Him,” he spat the word out, unable to say his name as he gestured in Gladio’s general direction.Noct only seem half-interested as he glanced away from his food.  “Not this again,” he groaned.“I know,” Prompto agreed.  “Isn’t it the worst thing that you’ve ever seen?”  Bad enough he couldn’t enjoy his lunch, but now he was going to lose his breakfast as well.“Not him,” Noct said, and he couldn’t believe his best friend would betray him like that.  “You.”





	1. Chapter 1

The Assassins Festival was supposed to be fun for all of them, but it seemed like he was the only one who had stopped having fun hours ago. Noct still thought this was the best festival they had ever gone to. Ignis was really starting to get into things after they had done the treasure hunt. And Gladio, well, Gladio seemed intent on flirting with every woman who stepped foot on festival grounds. It was disturbing. Everywhere he and Noct went, there was Gladio, leaning up against another wall, chatting up yet another woman. It was bad enough that he had started with Cindy the first night. That had been the ultimate betrayal; the big oaf knew how he felt about her. To make things worse, Cindy seemed to actually be into him, laughing at his stupid jokes and smiling. He had fooled Cindy, and then he had gone and betrayed her by flirting with every other woman at the Festival.

Like the one he was chatting up now, who was batting her eyelashes up at him and giggling every so often. He must have really been laying the charm on thick, he could practically feel it oozing all the way over where he and Noct were supposed to be enjoying lunch at the cafe. It was difficult to swallow anything when he was forced to watch Gladio try to charm random woman number eight back to the hotel room.

“This is disgusting,” he said as Gladio fake laughed at one of his own jokes.

“I don’t think it’s that bad,” Noct said as he scooped up another bite of his lunch.

“Not the food,” he said, although he wasn’t sure what it even tasted like. The one bite he had gotten to his mouth had quickly turned to ash. “Him,” he spat the word out, unable to say his name as he gestured in Gladio’s general direction.

Noct only seem half-interested as he glanced away from his food. “Not this again,” he groaned.

“I know,” Prompto agreed. “Isn’t it the worst thing that you’ve ever seen?” Bad enough he couldn’t enjoy his lunch, but now he was going to lose his breakfast as well.

“Not him,” Noct said, and he couldn’t believe his best friend would betray him like that. “You.”

“Me?!” He had done nothing wrong. In fact, while Ignis and Gladio had been off doing their own thing, he had remained steadfastly by Noct’s side. “Don’t you see what he’s doing?”

“Yeah, so he’s been flirting around a little. No laws against that.”

“A little?” More like every single woman at the festival over the age of eighteen, and probably some of the ones who weren’t single.

“What’s the big deal? He’s a grown man and can flirt with whoever he wants. Doesn’t affect you any.” He ate another bite of his lunch then glared skeptically at him. “Does it?”

“No, of course not,” he sputtered out a little too quickly because Noct was still looking at him like he had just walked in on him with his hand down his pants. “It’s just that…” he started, searching to find a possible explanation as to why it did bother him so much. If he had moved on to half a dozen women other than Cindy, that meant he wouldn’t be bothering Cindy anymore. “It’s just that he shouldn’t be leading Cindy on like that. She deserves so much better than a muscle head than him.”

“You should be glad he’s moved on from Cindy,” Noct said. Damn him and his logic. “One less person vying for her attention is good for you.”

He leaned back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest and watching Gladio lean forward to brush some hay off the woman’s shoulder. “It’s disgusting,” he reiterated. Everything about the scene was making his stomach churn. Briefly, he wondered what it must be like to be those women, to have Gladio tower over him, making him feel like the center of the universe. That was a rabbit hole he didn’t want to go too far down.

“He’s a grown man,” Noct said. “He can do what he wants.”

“He needs to be stopped,” Prompto insisted. He was doing it for the good of the single women at the Festival. They didn’t need to be accosted by Gladio, of all people. They deserved better.

“What are you going to do? Stalk him all day and jump out every time he approaches a girl?”

“No, I’m not going to stalk him,” he shot back.

He did have a plan though, one that was only half formed but if it worked, it would teach Gladio a valuable lesson about flirting. Noct sighed and said something about finding the rest of the flags instead of wasting his day concerning himself with Gladio’s love life.

Prompto did spend a large part of the next hour more or less stalking Gladio, waiting for the perfect moment to put his plan into motion. He would only have one chance to get this right. The girl needed to be perfect. Young. Outgoing. Preferably with a large group of friends she would be willing to share just the funniest story with every single last one of them. He didn’t want to do this, but someone had to stop Gladio. It took almost two hours before he found a suitable accomplice. She had been hanging out with a group of five other girls, all talking and laughing together, but she got separated from them momentarily when she stopped to look at one of the booths. That was when Gladio swooped in, and she quickly adjusted to his presence, smiling at the lines that made Prompto cringe and laughing very loudly at jokes that didn’t make any sense. She was perfect. And when Gladio leaned over to be closer to her, he knew it was time to make his move.

He took a deep breath to try to stop his shaking. He had nothing to be nervous about. The women of Lestalum were going to thank him for this.

He made sure to stay out of Gladio’s line of vision until it was too late. “Hey, babe,” was the only warning he gave before pushing himself to his tiptoes to plant a kiss fully on Gladio’s lips. He raised his hands to tangle them in Gladio’s hair to keep him from retreating too quickly. Luckily for him, Gladio seemed too stunned to do much of anything at the moment.

He pulled away and quickly turned around to face the young woman before he could see Gladio’s reaction. She had the right idea he was hoping for, looking at the two of them with a knowing smile and a raised eyebrow.

“Who’s this?” he asked, proud that his voice didn’t crack.

“He was just asking me for directions,” she said. Yes, to the Leville. He had heard. “Are you his…?”

“His boyfriend? Yes,” he said, latching onto Gladio’s arm.

“Since when?” Gladio growled above him.

“He’s so forgetful, sometimes,” he confided in the young woman. “That’s why he’s always asking people for directions back to the hotel.”

“I’ll leave him to you then,” she said as she eased her way past them. Prompto watched her leave, keeping his grip on Gladio’s arm. There went his only witness should Gladio try to kill him.

“Do you want to tell me what the hell that was all about?” Gladio asked once she was completely gone.

“She seemed nice,” Prompto said, dropping Gladio’s arm. “She seems like she has a lot of friends. Do you think she’ll tell them all about the big guy with the eagle tattoo who has a boyfriend?”

“Why would you do that?”

He shrugged as he started to walk away. He could tell Gladio that he had done it for the women of Lestallum, but he was sure Gladio would believe that as much as Noct had.

“Good luck finding a girl who hasn’t heard that story,” he called with a wave. Maybe he would go help Noct with those flags. He could still taste Gladio on his lips. He didn’t think he would be telling Noct exactly how he had gotten Gladio to stop flirting.


	2. Wanna Makeout?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gladio gets his revenge.

Gladio wasn’t one hundred percent certain what had just happened, but as Prompto slipped away into the crowd, his mind was left reeling. He had been minding his own business, talking to some nice young lady, when Prompto had come out of no where, kissed him and claimed to be his boyfriend. Maybe he had been out in the sun too long and was suffering from heat stroke. He had thought about following after him, to make sure he was not ill or anything, but he had seemed to be steady on his feet as he had smugly walked away. Maybe Prompto was suffering from heat stroke, or maybe something deeper was going on.

Yes, Prompto had freaked when he had been talking to Cindy, but in retrospect, he probably could have made it clearer to Prompto that he was trying to talk him up to her. He could see how Prompto might have gotten the wrong idea from a distance. And he knew how much Prompto liked Cindy, so he hadn’t thought too much about his ensuing jealousy or the fact that he had given him the brush off for the next day or so. But time went on and there had been other women, and for reasons he didn’t quite understand at the time, Prompto had gotten upset about them as well. Things hadn’t been adding up and then Prompto had just come up and kissed him like it was the end of the world or something.

Come to think of it, Prompto did take a lot of pictures of him. He hadn’t really thought about it too much before, but in light of this new information, he might have to reevaluate his perception of Prompto. He supposed it was entirely within the realm of possibility that Prompto was attracted to him. It wouldn’t be the first time, but he didn’t know how he was supposed to handle this. If he was wrong, it would completely wreck their group dynamic. Also, Noct would likely never forgive him for making assumptions about his best friend. He needed another perspective. Someone to help him make sense of all this before he went and did something stupid.

“Hey, Iggy, you got a minute?” he asked once he found Ignis in the plaza. Ignis was the strategist, he would be able to help him figure this out. And this way he could avoid involving Noct forever if he happened to be blowing this way out of proportion.

“Certainly,” Ignis said, leading them to the side of the plaza where they would be less conspicuous and so they wouldn’t be in anybody’s way. “What seems to be the trouble?”

He didn’t know how much to reveal, how much Prompto would not want Ignis to know. But the only way Ignis would be able to help him was if he knew the whole story.

“Do you think Prompto has been acting strange lately?” he asked, because there was still the possibility that the heat had addled his brain. Maybe there had been other signs that he had missed. “Has he said anything about being sick?”

“Not that I recall,” Ignis said thoughtfully. “He seemed fine when he and Noct passed by earlier this morning.”

So he likely wasn’t sick which made the other possibility suddenly seem all the more real. But that was crazy, wasn’t it? Surely he would have noticed by now if Prompto was into him.

“Why? Did something happen? Is he alright?”

“He kissed me earlier,” he said before Ignis could panic too much, thinking Prompto was laying dead in a ditch somewhere from food poisoning.

“I can’t help you with that,” Ignis said as he made a hasty retreat.

“Why not?” He needed help. He couldn’t figure this on his own. He needed advice before he made a bonehead move, and if Ignis wasn’t going to help him, who was?

“This sounds like something you and Prompto need to figure out on your own.”

Great, but Prompto was the one person who probably didn’t want to see him right now. He had been pretty peeved about all those women he had been flirting with. What was it he had told him before he had stormed away? Good luck finding someone who hadn’t heard that story? Had he really kissed him for the sole purpose of getting him to stop flirting or was there something deeper going on? He knew one way he could find out for certain, and since he was feeling a little petty, maybe get some revenge at the same time.

Just as he suspected, Prompto had rejoined Noct, the two of them playing some festival games. Prompto was still wearing that smug grin on his face Gladio noted. He needed to get this just right, or else it wouldn’t work and they would be right back at square one. He leaned back in the shadow of one of the booths, arms folded across his chest as he watched them. Did Noct know about what had just happened? Had he been a part of it? Had the two of them plotted this together just to get him to make an ass out of himself?

He studied the two of them for a moment longer, laughing and presumably having a good time and decided it was far beyond Noct to come up with a plan like that. He doubted Prompto had told him anything about what had just transpired either, if only because he wouldn’t know how Noct would react to something like that. He couldn’t just stand around forever and wait for the perfect moment. He needed to create his own opportunities. He double checked to make sure that those two would not be going any where soon, but once Noct discovered a new game, he was reluctant to move on until he had mastered it. And judging from his face, he was far from mastering this latest game. Prompto, on the other hand, had probably spent enough time away from the Prince for the day, and likely wouldn’t be going any time soon. He sent off a quick text to Cindy, asking her to come to the area without telling her why. He didn’t need to make her a knowing accomplice. She quickly responded that she would be there in a few minutes, and he put his phone away, and straightened up. He needed to be ready to move, because he would only get one shot at this.

It wasn’t long before Cindy showed up at the edge of the crowd and his muscles tensed as he leaned forward. Now he just needed for Prompto to notice her, and there he went, calling to her and waving her over. She saw him in return, but unfortunately, she also seemed to notice him and hesitated, looking back and forth between the two of them. Well, that wouldn’t do for her to give him away, so he needed to make his move now. 

He quickly crossed the distance between them, grabbed Prompto’s face between both his hands and kissed him. Not like the chaste, innocent excuse for a kiss that Prompto had given him earlier. No, if he was going to do this, he was going to do it right. Prompto made some sort of small noise against his mouth, but the hand against his chest was gripping the front of his jacket instead of pushing him away.

“Come on, not you too,” he heard Noct complain from beside them, so apparently he had either given up on his game or had not been as involved in it as he initially thought. Who cared about Noct though? He was more interested in pulling Prompto closer and trying to figure out why he had waited so long to try this. 

He didn’t know how long they had been there, but when Prompto balled his fist and finally pushed him away, Cindy was gone.

“Dude, did you have to do that in front of Cindy?” Prompto whined, but he didn’t even look to see if she was still around or not.

“Does it matter?” he asked. He liked Cindy and was rather fond of her, but he wasn’t too keen on letting her have Prompto now.

“I like to keep my options open,” he muttered without looking him in the eye. He would get over it, eventually. He hoped.

“So are the two of you going to get worse now, or…” Noct asked from where he was still standing beside them.

“What do you mean ‘worse’?” Prompto asked defensively.

“'Prompto, my hero,’ 'Gladio, why are you so photogenic?’ 'Nothing’s going to take you away Prompto,’ 'Lend me a hand, Big Guy.’ It’s disgusting.”

“We don’t sound like that,” Gladio told him even as he started to doubt it himself.

“Whatever. Just keep it out of the tent,” Noct informed them before walking away.

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to send me a pairing and a prompt number from this [list over on tumblr.](http://erikalwilliams.tumblr.com/post/171846275842/downrightfierce-aurorasmemes-fifty-ways-to)


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